know what i hate :: essays research papers

You know what I hate happens? ( FUCKING EMBARRISSING MOMENTS ) ( Its like when your waiting for the Phone ) One Day after eating a hefty late lunch you sit around the house waiting for the phone to ring, this girl was supposed to come over to your house later, When out of no where came the impending inexplicable urge to take a big ass shit. Thinking it over you know you cant afford to miss the phone call, but also when you got to take a shit you got to take a shit. So taking a shit it is. Your on the toilet doing your business, you guess your about half way through when the phone begins to ring. Well your working on a big clunker right there and you didn’t have any time to wipe your ass, You run to the phone as quick as you can in the state your in. You finally finish the phone call and you put the phone down, she said she would be here in 5 minutes and Your like Werd, pimping it. Then you turn around and you see a trail of tiny wet spots of brown SHIT everywhere. You only have 5 minutes to clean it up. Trying to wipe it and get it out of the carpet, it spreads. The bell rings and y ou get dressed as soon as you can, your ass still remains un-wiped. She enters the house, she sees the stains on the floor and asks what it is, You say its chocolate ice cream, You try to steer her away but you know you couldn’t show your ass to her incase the shit stain outline appears on your pants, she bends over to smell and examine the stain on the floor.... she smells it, she gets an idea of what it is, and you try to steer her away, she tells you to come look at it closer, by then you have no choice, you bend over, she sees the shit stain outlines on your pants and her idea that those might be shit stains on the ground are confirmed........... The Date Is Over ( Its like Before You go into the hot tub ) Well The other day before hitting the road to a long drive to vacation I decided to leave on a full stomach so I wouldn’t be hungry on the journey there.